Jew-lema

A Note to All Retailers:

Although the holiday season always brings laughter and joy, it should remain just that: the holiday season. Now, I’m not here to play Scrooge, but somebody’s got a lot of chutzpah for letting Hanukkah slip through the cracks of the overwhelming quantity of said ‘holiday’ merchandise.

For all you Jews out there who can’t seem to find a wide selection of wrapping paper adorned with stars of David, menorahs, or at least something that semi-represents the Festival of Lights, don’t get all forclempt – you’re not alone.

This past Saturday, I was finishing up some holiday shopping when I stumbled into Rite Aid down on Cherry Street. Aside from its typical, chaotic, packed-as-tight-as-canned-sardines atmosphere, I found myself in shame as I made my way down the card and wrapping aisle. I saw a lousy number of about ten Hanukkah cards to choose from, nearly half of which were labeled as ‘money holders.’ (Am I sensing some stereotyping, here?) Also, the wrapping paper and gift bag display was pathetic. However, with less than half a dozen gift-wrapping option, I guess you can say that it didn’t take me all that long to choose. Oh, and by the way, did I mention the Hanukkah gelt – those little chocolate coins that everyone loves – carelessly thrown onto a random shelf? Oy vey!

Next on my shopping list was Champlain Chocolates. Call me what you will, but I decided that it would be in my best interest to visit the Champlain Chocolate factory, with the intent, you know, to save a few bucks. Now, chocolate is one thing that I hold near and dear to my heart, but even all those delectable free samples couldn’t stop me from noticing that two – yes, TWO – Jewish-oriented chocolate items were available. Again, the gelt’s shiny tin wrappers glistened, but the silver and gold ‘Winter Chocolate Coins Bag’ label toned down the fact that they had any association with Hanukkah. That, however, did not even begin to compare to the dinginess of the $8.00 box of – can you guess? – thirteen chocolate coins. Decorated with a lopsided blue menorah and a Jewish star, the box of chocolate stood out like a sore thumb, clashing with the abundance of red and green surrounding it. Beautifully packaged boxes of chocolate Christmas trees, Santas, reindeer, and wreaths shattered any hope that the little Jewish chocolate would even be noticed, let alone purchased. Oh come on now, Burlington. Shouldn’t there be more variety in such a liberal part of Vermont? And for all you marketing people, isn’t the whole idea to attract the customer?

Satisfied with chocolate – not with service or item selection – I continued my trek through the commercialized forest of festivity. Somewhere along the way, I ended up at the Church Street mall. Decorations are always a treat, but when mistletoe and flashing Merry Christmas signs are all to be seen, and “Here Comes Santa Claus” is all to be heard, they get a little old.

Again, I’m not trying to tear down the holiday spirit – to be completely honest, I can’t get enough of Christmas music! Maybe I’m a little meshugana, but, correct me if I’m wrong when I say that the holidays should be, well, the holidays.

I think I might have seen one or two menorahs in store windows in the mall, but certainly no more than that. It seemed that everywhere I turned, I was being stared at by a reindeer, or laughed at by a ho-ho-ho-ing Santa. I have to admit that he is quite the jolly fellow, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if a Santa doll was accompanied by a stuffed Jewish star, or a child-size menorah? (Retailers, take notes!)

So, yeah. It’s possible that we complain too much, shop only for bargains, and enjoy a fresh glass of Manischewitz wine now and again, but we Jews have traditions and celebrations, too. And with stores lacking in ‘Jewish sections’ of merchandise, the distance between us and the majority of this country simply increases. Take it from someone who knows how business works, retailers: The wider your audience, the more money to be made.